2021.12.06 09:15 No-Mechanic-5564 The guy I love more than anything broke my trust and I’m lost.
This might be a long post so please bear with me. A little background; this guy and I started talking 2 years back when I was, at that time I thought, the lowest point in my life. He helped me through few really difficult times and for that I’m eternally grateful. We talked almost everyday and I felt so so safe around him. Something that was completely new to me because of having really bad anxiety. I talked about things I never imagined I would be able to mention infront of anyone. Things that didn’t make sense to me before started making sense. And even though, it wasn’t a smooth sail, it was still so so special. Special because we always worked things out. Something that I had never done before. Something that I thought wasn’t possible and just plain bullshit. All of that made me fall for him, hard. He was quite literally my first love and became my first for everything later on. To the point where, calling him my world feels like an understatement. Hence, I confessed and he turned me down. But he was attracted to me, too, just didn’t love me romantically. So we became what he called, “fwb”. And throughout this time I kept hearing things I had told him from other people. His friends telling me to stay away from him. Telling me that he makes fun of me behind my back. He doesn’t give a shit about me. Something I never paid any mind to because I trusted him blindly. I trusted him the way he asked me to trust him. I would feel disgusted with myself if even such a thought would pop up in my mind. Time passed and one of his old friends made some false accusations about him making a move on her. Something I didn’t even need to ask him cause I knew it wasn’t true the moment I heard it. The only thought crossing my mind and bothering me was how much he’d be hurt if he gets to know this. I tried doing what I could. And people did listen to me but for over a petty thing, his best friend turned against him and started telling people all the stuff he had said as jokes about them which caused a huge reaction as one would expect. Things reached me too and he had revealed our relationship infront of his whole group and all this while, we had this agreement that it was something private and we don’t want anyone to know anything about this. When I heard these things, I was way too preoccupied with him not feeling the best and his feelings getting hurt because of people treating him horribly. Something that literally broke me. I couldn’t see him in pain. I still can’t. The thought of him being in pain takes the life out of me. So, maybe because of that or something else that I don’t know yet, I coped with it better than I expected myself to. Things gradually settled down and he has been feeling better day by day. But I’m getting worse. I feel so sick every single time someone looks at me. The thought of his friends, some random guys for me, talking about my nude pictures, discussing my breast size haunts me. Before him, I hadn’t even held hands with a guy. But with him I had no inhibitions and all of that is out for everyone to discuss. The thought of people thinking about my naked body everytime they look at me makes me want to kill myself but I can’t die. I’ve always wanted to die but at this point I owe people around me so much, my mom, my siblings, my friends that I can’t die before repaying them. And him, the guy I loved more than anything, the guy I still love more than anything, I can’t be with him without feeling disgusted with myself. The constant sick feeling in my stomach, the feeling of everyone seeing through my clothes. I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna hurt him at all but every single time I talk to him, I end up causing him pain with my words and my actions. It makes me think it’s better if I’m gone but I don’t wanna leave him. Not when he’s in pain. Not when when needs me. Not when I’m still as much in love with him as before.
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2021.12.06 09:15 walkingshitposterer Fallout Prank Gone Wrong💀💀💀
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2021.12.06 09:15 BubsyFanboy Inflacja? Jaka inflacja. Poseł PiS: Wynagrodzenia rosną szybciej. Ekspert wyjaśnia, że to mit
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2021.12.06 09:15 grandpapa_lenin The ultimate form of disguise, TRASHCAN!!
2021.12.06 09:15 ChooseAUsername501 It's been a while since Deathmatch has been out and it still feels like a play-for-win game mode rather than warm up.
12 players on small maps with 8 minute? Better crank up my volume and pre-fire everyone who runs around the corner, seriously DM does not feel like a good warm up/practice mode at all but just another game where you have to do whatever it takes to win, you simply can't play without sound because everyone else is you just end up getting pre-fired.
A simple yet effect solution would just to have a limitless or a very long (30+ minutes) deathmatch session where you can drop in and out from.
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2021.12.06 09:15 BONOMYTYRESRDED 💀💀💀💀
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2021.12.06 09:15 Rennfan me_irl
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2021.12.06 09:15 CyberGamerly Dead Map Contracts
I've just started working on map contracts (cp_mercenarypark is the first one) but as of writing there are no casual matches, and no community servers using that map. Now I'm aware that this won't always be the case, but what exactly do I do? I tried running my own server for a while although no one joined causing contracts to stay inactive. Just confused as all hell over here after an hour of no hits.
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2021.12.06 09:15 JinxCharles For the idiots.
Don't disgust me with your questioning and cowardice, also, your culture may not be learned right, first learn the minimum courtesy in chatting with others, because it's really too disgusting. Talking to you is as disgusting as going to the bathroom in non-state
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2021.12.06 09:15 BelleAriel McDonald’s lip service and weak attempt at trying to justify slave wages.
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2021.12.06 09:15 ehma_essien We are now live on Lbank.
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2021.12.06 09:15 Konradleijon ~Sora Plus Gun~ Stoic Seraphim @Stoic_Miiverse
2021.12.06 09:15 shaycv_ Photo of the stolen car crash today on Nicholson Street
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2021.12.06 09:15 terekkincaid Hispanic voters: Latinx term isn’t helping
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2021.12.06 09:15 RogelioWalker66 y
2021.12.06 09:15 Kvark33 Widening a doorway where there isn't room : Advice
Needing some help. I'm having to widen a doorway for a disabled customer. Looking at the door, the stud wall it's in immediately butts onto the spine wall running perpendicular. In my head going right to left it will look like jack stud, kingstud, cornepartition stud. So there's not much room on the left. On the right it's pretty much got the same makeup however immediately on the right side of the door there is a cupboard under the stairs. Would it be possible to take the header out, the jack and king studs as it's on a non load bearing wall and make a wider door that way or is it not possible at all. Sorry for the poor description any advice will be great.
submitted by Kvark33 to Carpentry [link] [comments]
2021.12.06 09:15 Area51tecnologia Mulher que casa deve entender que se não trabalha, tem que cuidar da casa, com auxílio do homem obviamente, mas se quiser ter sua independência financeira, ambos racham empregada ou limpam. Estava falando sobre isso com a esposa e acabei vindo aqui compartilhar kkk (imagem meramente ilustrativa)
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2021.12.06 09:15 madalumdom A cold night with 2 cats
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2021.12.06 09:15 WestReal2565 Religion of peace strikes again. Alhamdulilah it's a sign from Allah.
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2021.12.06 09:15 bullitt757 [Recruiting][A3][MILSIM][US][EST][PST] JTF EMBER WANTS YOU
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2021.12.06 09:15 okay_watercolors Abstract landscape in the style of Steve Mitchell
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2021.12.06 09:15 lm2lm2 old phone
I do have a g386f from samsung, codename afyonlte
I found that one :
would it be enouth/propecorrect to adapt postmarketos on it? does it requires dev skills in addition of linux skills?
thank you =)
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2021.12.06 09:15 Vo0do0leW Playing INSIDE in 2021 (for the 1st time)
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2021.12.06 09:15 kiven00 Want to know your fat, muscle percentage, BMI, body water, bone percentage, calories and weight at any time? You can try the following body fat scale. Pay attention to the changes in your body anytime, anywhere.
2021.12.06 09:15 ImN3wbie Would it be possible to filter the chat from lower level people?
I love seeing what everyones talks about on the game but most actives places are filled with low level spamming bots , especially level 3's. Is it possible for Jagex (or maybe Runelite?) to impliment some kind of filter, that allows us to choose the threshold combat level we want for chat to be visible? I would love it to be toggleable i also love hanging out with f2p people and cute noobs. I know this is all avoidable with the ignore system but i hate having to ignore people everytime i hop worlds..
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